Sexual Harassment in College Coed Dorms

Take Action Against Unwanted Talk, Advances, Pranks, & Touch

Aug 18, 2008

Although coed dorms can be fun, they also can be hotbeds of sexual harassment. Here's how to identify this type of abuse in your dorm, and how to make it stop.

Are you being sexually harassed in your college dormitory? According to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, sexual harassment is defined by "unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature." [1] While sexual harassment is usually discussed as a workplace problem, it can happen anywhere. When it happens in a dorm -- the place where students call home -- this can be especially traumatic, as feeling unsafe and exploited in your home can be devastating.

What you need to know first about sexual harassment -- in the dorms and elsewhere -- is this:

Here are some typical harassment scenarios that take place in dorms -- especially coed dorms -- and here's what you can do about these situations.

Unwanted Explicit Talk

One of the most common problems young women (and sometimes men) face in the dorms is talk that belongs more in a locker room than in a residence. Male students approach women to discuss topics that, intentionally or unintentionally, make them very uncomfortable. Or they approach women with explicit catcalls. Or they may play explicit media loudly enough for everyone to hear.

If this happens, the first thing you should do is tell the harasser to stop. Explain that this makes you uncomfortable, and that this is not acceptable. In some cases, this will do the trick and will gain you an apology. After all, living with a group of women in a new experience for young men, and some of them just need to learn how to behave appropriately.

If the talk does not cease, or if you're told that you're just being "too sensitive," report this to your residence assistance. If nothing is done, or if the situation does not improve, then take it higher up. Two places to get help are the campus office of residence life (the employers of your residence assistant) and the department on campus that handles employment and diversity (which is the department that intervenes in harassment cases across campus).

Explicit Pranks

Childish pranks, like someone putting toilet paper over his neighbor's door, are an annoying part of college life. However, when they cross the line and get sexual, they're more than just annoying. Guys playing peeping tom in the bathrooms, placing used contraceptive devices on girls' doors, exposing themselves, or other such obnoxious behavior is unacceptable -- and no, you're not being "too sensitive" if this makes you uncomfortable.

Depending on the severity of the prank, telling the harasser to stop may do the trick. But if not, report this to the residence assistant immediately -- and to higher ups if necessary.

Unwanted Advances

If someone in your dorm approaches you for intimacy and you are not interested, say no. If the individual persists, inform this person that you will report him or her if the behavior does not stop -- and then follow through. Here's something you may not know: if the individual responds to your rejection by badmouthing you around the dorm or by otherwise making you feel uncomfortable, this constitutes sexual harassment as well. Report this kind of behavior, too.

Unwanted Touch

When unwanted touching is involved, the line has really been crossed. Depending on the situation, your physical safety may be compromised, so the first thing to do is to get to a safe place, preferably where other trusted people are present. Do not hesitate to call 911 if you think rape or physical injury is a possibility.

Depending on the situation, you may issue a warning to the harasser, as in, "if that happens again, I am going to report you immediately." However, a warning is not necessary, as unwanted touch violates both campus rules and the law. Again, your residence assistant usually should be the first person you speak to, but don't hesitate to go higher. In some cases, a trip to the campus police may be in order.

Sexual Harassment is a Real Problem

Too many people dismiss unwanted talk, advances, touch, and pranks as "no big deal," or accuse the victim of overreacting and being too sensitive. You never have to put up with sexual harassment -- especially in your home, where you should feel safe. If you are sexually harassed in your dorm, do not hesitate to take action immediately.

The copyright of the article Sexual Harassment in College Coed Dorms in Student Housing is owned by Naomi Rockler-Gladen. Permission to republish Sexual Harassment in College Coed Dorms in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.